fly'in

International Date Line (Atlanta<>Japan)

The image of animal cruelty has a new face: Airline Travelers. In the eyes of airline executives across the world, humans are animals just like another cow, pig, or chicken being bused to a new destination. Life takes on a new definition of misery when one is forced to sit for over ten hours with less than six inches from the next person and less than two feet from the hysterically crying progeny of some humiliated and frustrated parents. To endure the long flight over water and land is to travel through Dante’s Inferno in patched twill seats.

There is no escape from it. No pity for those of the Economy class.

Welcome aboard flight 106 from Seoul to Tokyo. Our flight will be approximately two hours and fifteen minutes.
Please place your contraband year old kimchee, pornography, cigarettes, and fake Louis Vittton bags in the compartments above your seat or under the seat in front of you.

Remember to place all satellites, electronic dictionaries, music devices, laptops, game boys, picture taking cell phones, hearing aids, and pacemakers in the off position. If you are a South Korean spy or Japanese kidnapped to North Korea please proceed to the emergency exit now.

After dinner, we will not show movies, as we will hit turbulence while evading North Korean ballistic missiles. In case of collision or sudden loss of altitude, oxygen masks will deploy and save you from your fellow inebriated passenger’s nauseatingly toxic breath. Don’t forget to fasten your seatbelt. Thank you and enjoy your flight.